Rain Man
by michael1812
Summary: From out of the rain, he returns. His very soul rests in the balance, clawing back towards life, using nothing but will alone. He returns, through pain and death and dispersion.


My existence in droplets, tiny little particles of dust you could barely see.

But I could. I was there.

I was awoken by a thunderous applause, surging through reality like a wave, and I felt joy.

Atom upon atom upon atom collided, crashed, singed and screamed.

Happy, sad, anger, bliss, hate and fear rushed over me, and I could feel it, I could feel it glowing.

Yes, I was glowing.

I felt the molecules binding me together and the water cloud burst, popping, a bubble, a pocket, dropping a man from the sky.

Incomplete, lacking, building, converging, and I was the rain, I felt the rain, each drop, each molecule, shivering in the storm and the planet, the gravity, pulling me down.

I was returning.

I was growing.

I felt the mirror's edge, the surface of the water reflecting me, ME, and every single drop screamed, begging for death and I yelled back, because that's what I do best.

I make them shut up.

Stop it! Stop it!

I punched the ground, the mirror's edge, the water, the ocean, splashing molecules, scattering, reaching, screaming, bleeding.

Solid and liquid binding in spirit, slipping through, hardening a cocoon around my very soul.

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

I scream and my very soul almost escapes my mouth, to be carried away by the wind, like sand in a storm.

I claw at the very essence of being, of matter, and there was no difference between ground and air to me.

It was dimension itself I slipped through, passed through, escaped.

And I could feel again.

I could scream again.

I touched the ground and it was hard beneath the palm of my hand.

The cocoon had grown and finally hardened, evolving into existence with pure pain and will.

LET ME LIVE! LET ME LIVE!

The pain!

My mask!

The spirits that clawed from my mind at the outside world, screaming death.

DEATH!!!

I needed my mask. MY MASK.

It had been lost, it had been killed.

No, it had been given.

It had been loved, it had been rescued, it had been rewarded, it had been saved!

And every drop lit up, like sunlight, like sunlight, yes, and I felt them all again.

The climax of the clouds, the storm's cycle, I could feel them all flowing through me, every molecule, every atom moving, through space, through time, through dimension.

I had to choose, had to stop, had to be, had to become, had to stop, I had to STOP!

And there I was, naked in the storm, breathing, beating, flesh upon flesh upon bone, scattered energy converging, loving, screaming, wanting, to be alive, because I was alive.

I remembered it now.

I pushed the light back, pushed back the screaming and enclosed my hand upon my skull.

My thoughts were back, my memories, my emotions, and desires.

And I had purpose, promise.

I had freedom.

I slithered in the dark like the abandoned child in my memories, writhing in the rain on the abandoned road, and the rain no longer cut my skin.

Blood was rain and rain was blood, but I was no longer bleeding.

Cope, I could no longer. Bear it I could nevermore, but I had to, I have to, I will, but I cannot even lift my hand.

The cry that escapes my mouth is mortal again, is audible again, and it echoes through the distant valleys, frightening the animals back into their dens and homes.

Being alive hurt every second of my soul's passing, every moment of my existence hurt, and I wanted to die...

STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!

Luckily I learned long ago how to surpress my demons, to quell the unrest in my mind.

They are not important. My suffering is not important.

I am alive.

That is important.

And I can see again!

I kissed the ground, kissed it, kissed it again and rolled around, happily naked and without shame my back rubbing against the ground as if I was another planet, trying to hug it backwards, groping the grass with outstretched hands and rolling around in it feeling every stroke of love being answered with kindness.

Mountains towering over me in distant shadows, and bright and nearby stars peeking through wet limelight, a darkened, clouded sky, but I could see past, always, and see the heavens.

It proved my existence, my survival!

I am alive again!

I AM ALIVE!

And I knew what to do.

I could barely stand, but I forced my newborn body to do what I told it to.

I stumbled, getting used to every step I took, placing my weight upon one foot, and then another.

I escaped death! HAHA!

Curse Scorpius!

Curse them all!

For I am alive!


End file.
